I don’t like to poo after a cigarette

Ocean waves clash against the sandy coasts of California
Glamour sand, glittered, dressed in the raw blood of mother earth
The cosmopolitan lights of L.A. burn in the midnight
Once again, today is just another day in paradise
Another hello, another sunrise


One more sad song

I know I'm always depressing
It's annoying, I get it--
but just let me have one more...
One more sad song.
It gets me through, y'know?
After that you can take it
but right now,
I need this.

99% of the world thinks you’re ugly

1% of the world thinks you're attractive
1% of those people think you're beautiful
10% of THOSE people think you're the love of their life.
That's 77,017 people.
The O2 arena only fits 20,000 people.
Love yourself
Love your imperfections,
You're a rockstar.

Cold shower in the dark

The water is running, cold.
I see nothing
Just black.
No light, no information;
Stranded within the density of the 4th dimension.
Everything is possible within the nothingness
I don't want to see whatever's coming
If I can't see it, it won't hurt me
I can't see anyway...

It's cold.
Something smells of paint thinner - I can barely breathe
It's so thick.
I feel rushing air on my face; choppy, crisp;
impacting with my face yet skating on my pores
But nothing else.
I've plunged into this and I don't know how deep.
I'm paralyzed, suspended within the absence
No x
or y
No end either;
Well, I'll never know until it comes.
Crying, whimpering, muscles tightened -
Freezing, waiting, stomach swirling -
I think I'm falling but
I can't even see where from..
I'm choking...
The water won't stop,
I c- I can't...
I can't breathe...
Holy fuck,
I'm drowning...


HELP!!!! HELP!!!!

p l e a s e ...


AH-HAHAHA... Ah-Haha...

The water is running, cold.
I see nothing,

Just black.


“I used to have depression and social anxiety in school”

Have you ever been dumped?
Left to rot?
Taken as a fool by a planet you don't even like?
Betrayed, disregarded?
Knocked to the curb as if a trash bag full of meat and bones
No father figure to love or not one at all
A mother figure to love but you never loved enough
Losing faith - in everything.

I scream sometimes. I know you have.
Crying, shouting, punching
From the death of a loved one to mum saying your music's too loud.
The pain, the anger, the passion.
A swirling intensity of emotions that only needs one touch then -
It's all out.
You're in the open -
honest, vulnerable.
Only to start the whole cycle again,
and again,
and again,
and again.
The older you get, the more conscious you are of the pain.
Just building and building...
Hurting, wounding, numbing.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
That feeling...
Have you felt it?
That one moment of weakness
One time your own life failed you and you didn't tell anyone
One time you just lied in bed and let the tears paint your sheets
One time you didn't even cry, you just laid there:
existing, not even living
That one time you suffered in sadness - alone.
I have, u?

Welcome to Heartbreak

He sang, illustrating my sadness
Drawing a mental image I did not want to see.
The music gave me no choice,
It showed me how distraught I really was:
My face fragmented as if by Picasso
My corpse weak and pale as if by Bacon.
I was sick and the worst part was
I kind of enjoyed it.

He produced an auto-tuned blueprint of my heart.
It didn't seem hard for him.
Childhood traumas were unlocked within 30 seconds...
I was completely de-constructed within 4 minutes.

A true artist,
He painted the picture my eyes couldn't see -
Only for me to hear it.
He spoke words my heart couldn't say,
He asked questions my brain couldn't think of.
Again I hit replay
and he sang
"Welcome to Heartbreak"


Mantle, crust, core

I am the sky, you are the earth
As I live I hold you together
I keep you from crumbling under the darkness of space.
When I cry, I enrich your soil
When I shine, my light beams through your trees
My air is what keeps you alive
But your gravity is what pulls me towards you.
Without your fumes there would be no air
You destroy yourself but I still stay holding you.
Days can be clouded,
Days can be clear
None of these days would happen if either of us were gone.
You ground me
I give you a reason to look up
You make me real
I make you dream.
You make the world go round
I make sure there still is a world

You are my world
I am yours.

I am flawed

I am flawed
Always have been flawed
Always will be flawed
That's not my flaw
My flaw is not accepting my flaws
Therefore not accepting myself

Light side of the moon

No one ever notices me but I'm there.
Do you know what it feels like to be present but be ignored?
I float - luminous, brighter than stars, high in the air
Yet everyone keeps their heads down towards their phones, towards the floor.

They ignore me only to observe the darkness of the night sky,
But it is I who lights the darkness for them to see it.
They see no value to me because I'm always there,
They'll realise what true darkness really is when I'm gone.

Does anyone even know I'm here?
The sky dims yet I still shine light upon their lives,
I'm still here behind the deep-blue tint of the atmosphere
Yet they act like zombies, wide-eyed to nylon-lit kebab shop signs.

They ignore me only to observe the darkness of the night sky,
But it is I who lights the darkness for them to see it.
They see no value to me because I'm always there,
They'll realise what true darkness really is when I'm gone.

Why does everyone pretend I don't exist?

People yearn towards the day and hide away from the night
They believe the sun is "good" while the moon is "bad".
But at the end of the day we both reflect sunlight
The only difference is, I'm more comfortable dressed in black.