Hold my heart
I can't hold it any longer
Nothing left to offer
I am weak
I can't stand anymore...
I'm on my knees
Giving you what I have left
I can't do it anymore...
The pressure,
it got to me


At the car wash

Suck my dick through a straw.
Turn around, stick your cheeks out-
Let me toss your salad in the car wash.


Leave me when you get new friends
I'm sure they'll be nice.
They'll call you pretty and pat you on the back
Probably tell you to never change.
I was never good to you
I always called you names,
I provoked your insecurities
I pushed you till you raged.
I called your bullshit what it was
and that was wrong
I told you when you were erratic-
that was wrong too;
But I'll never apologise for loving you, bitch.
Under that murky cloak of immaturity
my heart stayed steady when you were around,
working at a constant to your facetimes-
Beating to the tempo of the breaks between your words.
With you, I wasn't awkward
I was laughing, singing and over-reacting.
You made the silence sweet music
And eye contact bearable.

Leave me when you get new friends
They'll be better than I ever was
But I don't care who they are
They'll never love you like I did.

“I used to have depression and social anxiety in school”

Have you ever been dumped?
Left to rot?
Taken as a fool by a planet you don't even like?
Betrayed, disregarded?
Knocked to the curb as if a trash bag full of meat and bones
No father figure to love or not one at all
A mother figure to love but you never loved enough
Losing faith - in everything.

I scream sometimes. I know you have.
Crying, shouting, punching
From the death of a loved one to mum saying your music's too loud.
The pain, the anger, the passion.
A swirling intensity of emotions that only needs one touch then -
It's all out.
You're in the open -
honest, vulnerable.
Only to start the whole cycle again,
and again,
and again,
and again.
The older you get, the more conscious you are of the pain.
Just building and building...
Hurting, wounding, numbing.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
That feeling...
Have you felt it?
That one moment of weakness
One time your own life failed you and you didn't tell anyone
One time you just lied in bed and let the tears paint your sheets
One time you didn't even cry, you just laid there:
existing, not even living
That one time you suffered in sadness - alone.
I have, u?


Where the fuck are you guys?...

Wet Dreams(Grown up)

I woke up with
Gunk in my eye, sadness in my face
I check my sheets
Cum all over me, cum all over the place.

Wet Dreams

I was with Miss Robinson,
I was in Miss Robinson.
It felt like I pissed inside her
As I finished she was opening her legs wider.
Pretty weird way to see my English teacher,
An 8 year old boy naked, fucking under the bleachers.


I’m wearing yellow and screaming inside.

I'm a hydrogen bomb of colour,
I'm going to explode.
Instead of fire,
It's my emotions that will bring this place down.
I'm drowning in a sea of navy,
Trudging on shades of brown,
Blinded by so many people wearing black.
My camouflage is at home,
My mirror advised for a pop of colour.
The enemy can see me.
Everyone in this room can see me.
I make a move, they watch.
I don't make a move, they watch.
Their alliance of grey, blue and black becomes the voice of my insecurities.
My eyes swallow up into my eye sockets,
Eye contact is the worst possible thing that could happen right now.
My sweats are my tears due to my lack of emotion and self-sympathy.
The end of the world seems upon me,
All I can hope for is for today to be over because
I'm wearing yellow and screaming inside.

Don’t love me.

Don't love me.
Don't love me.
I don't want to need your love so
Don't love me.
Don't love me.
Your love isn't 24/7 so please
Don't love me.
Don't love me.
I can't love you back so
Don't love me.
Don't love me.
Don't come near me, don't call me,
Don't love me.
Don't love me.
If you really love me,
Teach me how to love myself.


He started out with his head down,
an almost-innocent little creature.
Soft rim,
Soft core.
He was capable of more,
You could see it in his veins.
He thought starting out small made him redundant,
but what he didn't realise...
Was that if he chose to,
He could become a force bigger than reality itself;
Something bigger than you and me.
Something only your mother could calm down.
For once he freed himself from the weight of fear and doubt,
he was free to grow into the phenomenon he was meant to be,
beautiful, masculine, characteristic. Avant-garde. 
A profile almost Greek-like,
but fatter.
(And longer).
A totem poll of individuality,
Vomiting creation and progression itself.

Now when at large, he silently roars
with blood rushing through veins.
Muscles twitching. Bulging. 
A structured base as firm as timber.
A head as thicc as the Bible.
With this strength and knowledge he responds to the call of duty,
Knowing in his pulse that
He, is the true hero of his story.
A hero who stands to face every morning
Not because he's a shower but
because he's a grower.