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POEMS

“I used to have depression and social anxiety in school”

The older you get, the more conscious you are of the pain.

Have you ever been dumped?
Left to rot?
Taken as a fool by a planet you don't even like?
Betrayed, disregarded?
Knocked to the curb as if a trash bag full of meat and bones
No father figure to love or not one at all
A mother figure to love but you never loved enough
Losing faith - in everything.

I scream sometimes. I know you have.
Crying, shouting, punching
From the death of a loved one to mum saying your music's too loud.
The pain, the anger, the passion.
A swirling intensity of emotions that only needs one touch then -
BOOM.
It's all out.
You're in the open -
honest, vulnerable.
Only to start the whole cycle again,
and again,
and again,
and again.
The older you get, the more conscious you are of the pain.
Just building and building...
Hurting, wounding, numbing.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
That feeling...
Have you felt it?
That one moment of weakness
One time your own life failed you and you didn't tell anyone
One time you just lied in bed and let the tears paint your sheets
One time you didn't even cry, you just laid there:
existing, not even living
That one time you suffered in sadness - alone.
I have, u?

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