“So I held my beating lungs, falling to the floor for protection.”

I never felt loved 
so when I feel love I throw it away.
An instinct,
A defensive reflex.
I turn to others for help
only to run when they hand out affection.
As you can see,
I never learnt my lesson.
It's a problem not worth fixing;
It's never been any use,
I'm either drunk, high or too sober to listen.
I was born under the north star to be a recluse.
My chest tingles with a feeling I don't recognise...
Maybe a bacterial infection
Maybe a sign. Maybe that I might die
So I held my beating lungs, falling to the floor for protection.
My heart tasted an emotion so sweet that it came off sour,
It shivered. overwhelmed by the taste of love's power.
I remembered that my mum said she loved me;
My eyes teared up and my nose got runny.
I held myself in my room; In my arms; cradled; By myself.
I put a sad song on to label my emotion
Staring at my wall, mindless, trying to love myself
But for everyone to not be loved: I was chosen.
Left in Oblivion, Vanquished and Empty.

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